Thoughts Upon a Hot Yoga Session

Yesterday morning I woke up at 6:30 so I could go to 8:30 Fit hot yoga.  Here is a basic stream of consciousness from that class, for your Memorial Day viewing pleasure.

6:30 am: Wow. It’s really early.  I mean, I don’t have to go to yoga this morning. I’ve been so good this weekend! Back to sleep.

6:36 am: Nope. Gotta go.

6:40 am: mmm bed is so comfy.  I wish I could hire someone to bring me coffee.  Maybe The Boyfriend (aka Navy Boy) will bring me coffee every morning! Nah. He’s sleepier (read: lazier) than I am most of the time…

6:55 am: AH fell back asleep for a minute!! Okay, I’m up, officially up.

7:05 am: Mmmmmmm coffee with vanilla creamer. Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found thee…wow, there is nothing on TV at seven on a Sunday morning.  Also, you know it’s early when no one else in the house is awake.

7:30 am: They tell you not to eat before yoga…but we just got oatmeal! Have to test and make sure it’s not poison.

7:40 am: It’s not poison.

7:50 am: Crap, I’m going to be late if I don’t leave right now AH!

8:00 am: Actually leave after ten minute conversation with mom about what we are doing for the rest of the day.  Needless to say, we do not end up doing any of the discussed things.

8:20 am: Begin to pull up to hot yoga building.  Maybe no one else will be here, maybe class was actually misscheduled so I can get some Starbucks and go home and go back to sl–nope, no, there are definitely cars and people here. Damn.

8:22 am: Find my spot on the floor of the classroom.  Class is rapidly filling up.  There is a nice mix; I always feel a little self conscious when class is full of the yogi-style girls, all fit and Pilates-trim in their Lulu Lemon outfits and high quality, bajillion dollar fancy no-slip yoga mats.  And I’m over here like, “Hey, I remembered my towel today! Score.” 

8:25 am: Debate what weights of weights (?) to use.  She suggests a light set and a heavy set, but really what does that mean?  What are we using them for? What’s the meaning of weights in yoga?  I stand there blocking the line for a few seconds  before randomly grabbing 1, 3, and 5 pound pairs.  You can never have too much variety, right?  I like my options.

8:30 am: Class begins.  The teacher, Tiffany, is really upbeat, and we are listening to music from the early 2000s–my era! It’s like an awkward middle school dance all over again.  We begin with some easy strengthening moves, and my thought: I got this.

8:40 am: I DON’T GOT THIS.  We are now moving into held yoga poses while using the weights, and I feel ungainly and lopsided.  How is that woman in front of me balancing? (There is this awkward phenomenon in yoga where you constantly remind yourself not to judge what you can do off of what the other students are doing–and yet, I want my downward dog to beat hers, damn it!)

8:50 am: Moving into the cardio portion.  I ran three miles yesterday, surely I can do a little yoga style cardio.

8:53 am: Don’t put me down for cardio.  Just when I think we’re about to move on and I’ve successfully lived through the energized moves, our teacher smiles and declares, “time for Mountain Climbers!”  I actually laugh.  So. Tired.

8:55 am: Ew, sweat.  I know it’s hot yoga, I should have expected this…but I don’t think you get how sweaty you can be until it happens.  Gross, I know, but if you ever decide to pursue hot yoga, know what you’re getting into.  I’m talking sweat running into your eyes and burning them kind of stuff.

8:56 am: Ouch, it burns! It burns us! (Lord of the Rings reference! Anyone? No one. Okay. Moving on.)

9:00 am: Moving in to ab work.  My stomach is screaming in pain.  I should have just stuck with my coffee.

9:10 am: Moving into the final, most difficult set.  I decide to stop worrying about doing it right and how much it hurts, and focus on the fact that I have almost completed and lived through this class. I squat and punch out with weights like I’m Muhammad Ali.  I runners lunge and balance like I’m a freaking flamingo.  I will do this class, and I will feel zen, damn it!

9:18 am: And now the yoga cool down.  I’m a little dubious when she states we’ll be cooling down in poses, because in my experience, there isn’t any other workout quite like holding poses for a few minutes. Thankfully, it is a cool down, and I hold the relaxing poses while my heart eventually returns to beat inside my chest and not hummingbird around the room.

9:30 am: Class is over.  I’m never getting up from my mat.

9:31 am: I’m up from my mat.  I put all my weights away, blocking the pile yet again.  (For the record, I’ll be using the 3 and 5 pound varieties from now on).

9:35 am: After thanking the teacher, I’m in the car and on my way home, downing as much water as I can.  I decide against stopping at Starbucks–I don’t want to undo any of the hard work I just did with a fatty drink.  Three cheers for healthy post yoga decisions.

Fast forward to 8:00 am this morning…I move to get up out of bed. Every part of my body, from my neck  to the soles of my feet, cries out in alarmed protest.  This tells me two things: 1) class was successful! I feel like a lean, mean, yoga doing zen goddess. And 2) Probably shouldn’t do that class and a 2.5 mile run in one day.  I suppose it tells me one more: I will be taking a break today.

Have an amazing Memorial Day, friends!

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One thought on “Thoughts Upon a Hot Yoga Session

  1. I really loved this post. Felt like I was actually talking to you and not reading a piece of writing. Glad to hear you were productive on your Memorial Day and not just sleeping in. Best of luck and keep up the awesome work 🙂

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